Stupid trans* things I feel guilty over (even though I shouldn’t)
My fucking amazing friends all using male pronouns and even correcting other people when I: am too chickenshit to do so, am pre everything, and avoid talking about my transness at every opportunity.
Sorry guys, I just don’t like saying I’m male because a lot of the time I feel more genderqueer, and don’t like saying I’m genderqueer because then it sounds like I’m not really a guy—so I just don’t say anything. Not the best solution, I know.
Being a dude, or ‘wanting’ to be a dude, or whatever, when guys in general all seem to be douches and I have almost no male friends anymore.
Being a feminist and wanting to transition. Wanting to transition and being a feminist. Some part of me keeps telling the rest I can’t do both.
Always, of course, the good old Not Being Trans Enough. I’m too cuddly, I’m too talkative, I speak too quickly, I’m uncomfortable talking to strangers, I spent my childhood wanting to be a boy instead of just feeling like a boy. All things my head tells my good transguys aren’t and don’t.
Don’t tell me I’m wrong—I know.
/angst angst angst